Masculine and Feminine Energies in Van Life

Even if you’re a straight guy, or you’ve never had a boyfriend or a king in your life, it might still be worth reading on – we’re talking about energies and qualities more than genders. These are universal dynamics that apply to all humans.

In this post, I want to share a major (and at the same time, very obvious) realization I had when I was wondering why traveling by van sometimes just doesn’t feel right – and what could make the experience better.

A key question for self-reflection:

Is your campervan like a safe, reliable, steady (and handsome) king who’s got your back no matter what?

Or is your vehicle more like an inexperienced, slightly clueless boyfriend who doesn’t quite know how to treat you, behaves immaturely, makes zero effort, and always takes the path of least resistance – the one you constantly need to check up on?

You get the vibe, right?

Why it’s good to be aware of masculine and feminine energies on the road

A personal example: I kept wondering why traveling feels so different for Jarno than it does for me. Why doesn’t he plan or pack like I do? Why doesn’t he feel uncertain about the same things, or why does he get kicks from stuff that I find completely pointless? Our baseline attitude toward van life is totally different.

Sure, some of that can be explained by past travel experiences, lack thereof, or simply different personalities. But one day I had a full-body aha-moment – and saw how much of it comes down to masculine and feminine energy dynamics. I want to share it in the hope that it helps more of us better understand what feels genuinely good for our nervous systems and bodies – and why.

By masculine and feminine energy, I’m referring to the qualities of these energies. We all have both in us – in different ratios and expressions. Once you can recognize them in yourself, you can choose more intentionally what supports you best in each moment. That awareness can make your life so much more pleasurable and aligned – whether you're off adventuring around the world or just cozying up at home.

It’s simple, but powerful.

Masculine & Feminine Energies in a Nutshell

Here’s a short breakdown of their qualities:

Masculine = Safety, structure, grounding, protection, action, life-giving, sun, light, logic, focus, continuity, direction, momentum. The masculine supports and holds space. It’s practical and curious about how things work. It's about doing. A healthy masculine is like a wise king who protects his kingdom and ensures peace and wellbeing.

Feminine = Intuition, heart connection, emotions, moon, darkness, life-carrying, cycles, creativity, softness, surrender, playfulness. It’s wild, deep, sensitive, ever-changing, sensual and expansive. The feminine sees beauty and embodies infinite potential. It’s about being. A healthy feminine is expressive, creative, nurturing and destructive when needed – like Mother Earth who both grows life and knows when to end it.

Simply put: The feminine gives direction and purpose, the masculine protects and brings that vision to life. Feminine is the muse and the dream; masculine is the form that manifests it.

Different Energies = Different Travel Experiences

So how does this relate to van life?

I realized Jarno sees van life through a masculine lens: Traveling in a van is a form of self-expression – it’s hands-on, challenges his skills, channels energy productively, and opens up real-world adventures. The van is more of a tool or even a feminine travel companion, to be cared for with oil changes, regular cleaning and upgrades – like bringing flowers or cooking a nourishing meal.

His sense of safety doesn’t depend on the van – it’s in his ability to fix it. Sure, the van's vibe matters to him, but rather than “your car is your castle,” for him it's more like “I am the castle – the van is just the chariot.”

For me, the van is the safe space.

Of course, Jarno’s MacGyver-level fix-it skills give me peace of mind (my interest in vehicle maintenance is close to zero), but I’m not traveling to tinker with the heater or brake pads. I’m here to be, not just do. I want to receive the wonder of the world, integrate deeper truths, enjoy the journey and know I have a safe place to rest and recharge.

He’s energized by doing. I’m energized by resting – not because I can’t do, but because I don’t want to.

What the Feminine Needs in Vanlife

To feel good as a feminine being on the road, I need a van that’s dry, warm, and doesn’t smell weird. It needs to feel safe.

I’m not here to hold the van together – it should hold me. Be my safe haven, my sanctuary. I need a reliable ride that stands tall beside me – not a flaky boyfriend I have to nag and babysit.

As Julia Roberts put it:

“Women, you are not rehabilitation centers for badly raised men – or in this case, broken-down vans. You need a partner, not a project."

And if I want to feel not just okay but truly good, I also need:

• To be able to sleep well – without being cold

• Soft lighting that doesn’t hurt my eyes

• No nasty smells

• Surfaces that feel clean and pleasant

• A space that looks at least somewhat beautiful and inspiring

Living in a van shouldn’t drain more energy than it gives. If there’s no real sense of safety, the feminine can’t thrive – she just survives.

For sensitive people, this stuff hits the nervous system. And it makes ALL the difference, especially on longer trips. The more things that don’t work, the more it builds up – creating stress and tension in the body.

And when you’re tense, it’s hard to enjoy. You can’t live from softness or openness. That’s why I hated our first vanlife trips – too much was off. That’s why we started creating better gear ourselves – so we could stop surviving and actually start enjoying the journey.

Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life

This whole concept also fits into the cognitive triangle: thought → feeling → action (or vice versa).

Example 1:
You choose a “meh” option for your van (action) → feel disappointed or unsafe (feeling) → think “vanlife just isn’t for me” (thought).

Example 2:
You believe vanlife can be amazing (thought) → feel inspired and hopeful (feeling) → choose things for your van that make you feel really good (action).

Good feeds good. Bad feeds bad. Change one piece – change the whole pattern.

What surrounds us – physically and mentally – shapes how we feel. If we all truly understood that, wellbeing would skyrocket.

Everything is energy. We get to choose: do we surround ourselves with vibrations that lower or raise us? That’s the music our reality dances to.

“When a flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows – not the flower.”
– Alexander Den Heijer

 

So How Do You Actually Apply This to Van Life?

You probably already got the idea. Maybe you even recognized your own energy patterns – or had an aha-moment about what you want more (or less) of in your life or on the road.

Wondering where to start?

One easy and practical way to make your van feel more like a cozy castle instead of a dingy motel: upgrade your bed. (Works at home too!)

• Could you invest in a new mattress or topper?

• A better pillow or blanket?

• Luxurious merino wool bed linen that feels grounding, warm, and safe?

• Softer lighting? A little reading lamp? A neck cushion for driving comfort?

Try choosing with your body, not your brain. Close your eyes and feel into each option. The feminine doesn’t speak through logic – she speaks through the heart, the body, even the soul.

When your body gets the message, it’ll show you the next steps toward deeper wellbeing.

Why Even Bother With All This Energy-Consciousness?

Can’t we just keep doing what we’ve always done?

Sure. But if “just okay” isn’t your vibe, new actions might spark new feelings – and new thoughts. Who knows – maybe van life or life in general starts to feel totally different. Supported. Safe. Alive.

Besides, the healthy masculine wants to serve – to protect, support, and hold. That’s its purpose.

We don’t try to make an astronaut bake cakes, or bring sausages to a birthday party instead of cake – so let’s let things be in their natural roles. Strengthen what’s already in its element. That’s the biggest gift we can give.

P.S. A strong masculine loves softness and gentleness too.

Wishing you wildly nourishing and deeply fulfilling adventures,
– Hanna